Those of you who are playing along at home may recall that when this blog started, my partner and I were in a competition to win The Big Gay Ice Wedding. Well, we didn't win (pfft), so that means we have to plan (and pay for) our own nuptials. Since we're gay and since we live in New York, we can't actually get married where we live, so we're trying to make plans out of state, except none of the venues in Iowa that we've checked out have returned our phone calls. So, basically, I think we're back to square one.
Since it's Valentine's Day, I'm giving some thought to what our wedding would look like. Though I haven't discussed it with David, I think it would be fun to have a theme wedding. My prom had a medieval theme--I think it was called "A Knight to Remember," and that was kinda dumb. When I was a kid, I heard that a local charity was having "Monte Carlo Night" where people would gamble with fake money; I think that sounds stupid, too. We want to get married in November, so I don't know that the weather would be conducive to having a luau. So, really, that only leaves one possibility...
The Last Days of Pompeii
First, We'll need to build a gigantic volcano. Kinda like the one that kids make for their science fair project, except this one would be much, much bigger, and would have real lava, instead of baking soda. A baking soda volcano would be lame, if you ask me. I was never very good at math and science (I was more of a social studies geek), so David and his brother will do this part.
Since we're both grooms, it's not like we're going to have one side with bridesmaids and the other with groomsmen. We've got close friends of both genders, so I'm sure there will be men and women standing up for both of us. They will all, of course, wear togas. I'm 90% sure, however, that none of our close friends are actually virgins which leaves unanswered the question of where we are going to find vestal virgins to throw into the volcano. David can figure out that part, too.
As far as food goes, obviously, we'll be having lots of it. I don't think it'll be necessary (or appropriate) to make it a full-blown orgy, so long as the venue can accommodate a large enough vomitorium. I know, I know. It's not fair to ask the staff of a banquet hall to clean up all of that sick. It shouldn't be a problem, though, since at the end of the night, the whole thing will be in ashes, anyway.
Obviously, there's a lot of work to do, but I think you'll agree that a wedding like this would really be a once-in-a-lifetime event for everyone involved.
Though opponents of marriage equality would like you to think that I'm trying to "redefine marriage," I'm really just trying to redefine what a really awesome wedding would look like. Not to get all political, but you can actually do something to help make it possible for us to get married in the city where we live by making a donation to Fight Back NY, a terrific organization that's working to make marriage equality a reality for all New Yorkers. And, if you like this post, feel free to check out my other blog, 101 Things in 1001 Days.
Since it's Valentine's Day, I'm giving some thought to what our wedding would look like. Though I haven't discussed it with David, I think it would be fun to have a theme wedding. My prom had a medieval theme--I think it was called "A Knight to Remember," and that was kinda dumb. When I was a kid, I heard that a local charity was having "Monte Carlo Night" where people would gamble with fake money; I think that sounds stupid, too. We want to get married in November, so I don't know that the weather would be conducive to having a luau. So, really, that only leaves one possibility...
The Last Days of Pompeii
As far as food goes, obviously, we'll be having lots of it. I don't think it'll be necessary (or appropriate) to make it a full-blown orgy, so long as the venue can accommodate a large enough vomitorium. I know, I know. It's not fair to ask the staff of a banquet hall to clean up all of that sick. It shouldn't be a problem, though, since at the end of the night, the whole thing will be in ashes, anyway.
Obviously, there's a lot of work to do, but I think you'll agree that a wedding like this would really be a once-in-a-lifetime event for everyone involved.
Though opponents of marriage equality would like you to think that I'm trying to "redefine marriage," I'm really just trying to redefine what a really awesome wedding would look like. Not to get all political, but you can actually do something to help make it possible for us to get married in the city where we live by making a donation to Fight Back NY, a terrific organization that's working to make marriage equality a reality for all New Yorkers. And, if you like this post, feel free to check out my other blog, 101 Things in 1001 Days.
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